济南朗阁雅思写作范文示例及思路解析

　　进行雅思写作考试的时候，如果“望文生义”会曲解题意，进而“答非所问”，有些同学仅根据词汇的中文释义找出中文中对应的“近义词”再翻译成英文。这样的词汇替换只能使自己的表达与雅思写作原文相去甚远。
 

 

　　Writing Topic 2:

　　In universities and schools, female students are encouraged to learn some subjects of arts. However, male students are encouraged to study science and technology. Why does this happen? How will this trend develop in the future?
 

　　题干理解：

　　大中学都鼓励女生学文，男生学理。为什么这样?未来如何发展?
 

　　学生习作：

　　Recently, the question which subject should be chosen by the students in different genders has been frequently brought to spotlight. Some people think girls should to learn social science and boys always be good at science and technology. I will discuss the situation focus on the areas between their physical and job employment.
 

　　评论：

　　的替换词有disciplines, courses, majors等等。而subject指的是某个具体科目，不能泛指学文或者学理。gender只有两个，习惯上写成between two genders。brought to spotlight是不规范的英文表达，尽管广泛用于各种写作模板。be good at表示客观上擅长做某事，而题目中are encouraged to更体现人们的主观观念，鼓励提倡做某事，因此这一替换也是不准确的。between … and表示两者之间，而不是并列的关系。physical属于评分细节中所述的词形错误(errors of word formation), 这里不能单独使用形容词。
 

　　修改过后：

　　The question about the preference of majors, either perceived or actual, between two genders has been in the spotlight. Some people think girls should attend courses of arts while boys are supposed to learn science and technology. I think the situation is related to the differences between the male and female in their physical traits and social roles.
 

　　再评论：

　　在尊重原文的基础上，老师用preference(偏好)来总结题干当中的争议核心，即男女生学什么科目的问题。通过后置定语either perceived or actual来表示这种所谓的“偏科”可能真实存在，也可能只是人们的臆断。末尾的physical traits(生理特征)，social roles(社会角色)都是同学们讨论两性平等(或不平等)时经常采用的表达。可见，在词汇使用上，高端大气只是一方面;更重要的是做到严谨、恰当、准确。

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